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Don’t Let the Ugly in Others Kill The Beauty in You

3 ways to realign with your inner confidence, beauty, and strength.


Have you ever been in a situation where you felt that someone’s attitude or behavior was affecting how you felt about yourself? We live in a world of contrast. Shocking and calming, negative and positive, disappointing and inspiring, feeling overwhelmed and I got this. Today we’re talking about 3 ways to return to your beauty, strength, and promise, even in a very complicated world. 


1. Reclassify the Ugly

So what is ugly? People can present themselves as mean, small, cause you to doubt yourself, the opposite of kind. Their energy is not a match for yours.


Realize that they themselves are hurting, and acting out, maybe pretending to be tough. Peer through that façade to what’s inside – scared, hurt, flailing for attention or some sense of control, because they don’t feel in control of their own lives at all. Think of ugly behavior as a 5-year-old having a fit. Have you ever witnessed someone and thought to yourself, Oh my gosh, this is a 5-year-old taking a fit! That takes YOU out of fear and gives you a fresh and more elevated perspective, so your amygdala doesn’t kick in and send you into fight, flight, or freeze.


Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to put up with this crap. No, that’s where your BOUNDARIES come in. No, that doesn’t work for me. No, we can talk when you are back to yourself; no, I am already committed.


2. Align with Your Inner Connection

First, check-in with your body. Are you conditioned to be waiting for people to be angry or blow up at you? On some level are you poised to expect the other shoe to drop? The external environment is stressed – it can permeate our inner environment.

Become aware of your body, are contracting or closing down? Where does it feel tight?


I want to give you one of my favorite exercises – it’s called color breathing. Imagine 2 colors, one is the color of peace, and joy, and beauty; the other is the color of anxiety, toxicity, stress. What are your 2 colors? Breathe in the color of peace, feel it fill every cell with light and warmth and comfort, rising from your feet up to your knees, your groin, core, your heart, your shoulders, your head. Now imagine the color of stress. See it leaving you, almost being pulled from a magnet below your feet. It moves from your head, down your neck, releases tension in your shoulders, pulls sadness from your heart. It’s leaving descending through your core, your legs, your feet down to the center of the earth. Try 2-3 more rounds.


Now fill up with your color of peace and create a bubble around yourself. The ugly cannot get in – you are protected. You are sovereign in your own body; you are complete. You are connected to something greater, and you can calm yourself any time and drop into this peace. This is who you are, your inner life is strong, stronger each time you practice this connection, and it becomes easier to navigate anything you may encounter because you are at the center of your own life.


One of the ways to be at the center of your own life is to generate gratitude for it. You have the power to shift your attitude, and science has proven that this can improve your life satisfaction 25%. We have a new way to connect with you in a more personal way, and give you powerful tools for change. Join us at Patreon, where every month, we give you a new challenge to jumpstart your life – this month happens to be the gratitude challenge. 


3. Remember: Intentionally call up feelings and memories and future visualizations of what a good soul you are and how beautiful, hot and creative you are. Yes, you! Tap into your own amusement. Make yourself laugh. That is one of the most effective ways to change your state and shift your energy. What is one memory of when you felt at your best?


Now, make a list of great character traits, memories, or things you love about yourself, and tape it to your mirror.  Mel Robbins has a new book called the High 5 Habit, where you literally look into the mirror and give yourself a high 5 every day – to boost your confidence, self-esteem, and I would add, look through that image and recognize yourself as a soul – wise, strong, peaceful. This is who you really are. Would you challenge yourself to try this?


See past the lens of the negative ego. Look deeper and cultivate your presence; get to know yourself in a new way. Then the ugly in others cannot even penetrate the beauty in you. Take back your power – don’t look for external validation. You got this!


How have you dealt with this type of situation in your own life? What would you say to a close friend facing something like this?


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