Most of us think we have all the time in the world. If we can’t get to something today, there's always tomorrow. There’s a good reason for this; at the end of the day, you have to say the day is done, tomorrow is another day, which is all true. However, here’s an invitation: what if you could wake up each morning, not with a sigh, but with anticipation. I wonder what the day will bring. What can I be excited about, what could I do to surprise myself or someone else, to feel more alive? So let's talk about why this moment is your point of power.
Making the most of this moment: What if you looked at the day as a launch pad to how you want to show up in your life? We create our tomorrows by how we think today. We create our next moment by the choices we make right now.
Here’s a question: If your brain was a room, how much of that space would be occupied by the past? "I wish, I should have,...
We all feel it from time to time: stress, overwhelm, disappointment, confusion, feeling upset. There are times when it passes quickly and times when it can feel like a dark cloud that never lifts.
The temptation, of course, is to muscle through it – keep calm and carry on, but that can sometimes just bury the feelings and then they emerge sideways or upside down or in ways we would never expect. OR we turn to numbing behaviors to self-soothe – like binges of any kinds from Netflix to shopping to exercise to substances; it’s across the board. If we are self aware, and we know our favorite distractions, we are ahead of the game.
What if I told you there was another way, and it was available to you 24/7, cost nothing and did not take much time. Sounds good? From our friends at the Greater Good Science Center, it is called taking a self-compassion break.
Why does this work? With our negativity bias, we tend to notice the negative aspects more than the...
In the light of the recent tragedies and shootings, I want to give this topic context. Forgiveness is not to say that bad things are OK, that you have to forgive and forget. There are certainly events that you won’t be able to forget and which may even shape who you are. Today we are talking about real ways to move forward, and why.
There are many good reasons to feel angry, sad or betrayed. Maybe your parents were wounded and inadvertently passed that on, maybe a relationship has gone bad, maybe you had to deal with a traumatic event. In her Ted Talk, Sarah Montana was in her teens when experienced her brother and mother killed by a friend’s younger brother. When she was dealing with the aftermath years later she realized, “The steel tether of trauma was still hooked in, and I was dragging him around for 7 years – the only way to get rid of him was to forgive him.” It sounds easy, but how do you do it?
If you’re human, you will have experienced disappointment at some point, and there are so many reasons why: you could have been hoping to get a specific job, you could have been fired from an old one; you could be hoping for a new relationship to take off, or be dealing with bumps in the road in an existing one; you or someone you love could have a health diagnosis. Or it could be as simple as a new pair of shoes you were obsessing about were not available in your size. This is all a part of life.
Why do we feel this way? Simply our expectation was not met. We had a picture of something and it didn’t happen that way. Life happens. Here are two ways many people dealing with disappointment:
Studies show that most people spend 2 hours a day spending time worrying about relationships, finances, health etc., but 85–90% of things people worry about do not come true. For example: you may have an argument with your significant other, but you don’t break up. You may have not done as well as you would like on a presentation, but you are not fired. Mark Twain says “I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened." So let's discuss this worry beast...
Firstly, there is a difference between fear, worry and anxiety, and when we can "name it to tame it" we can often take some of it's power away and come up with a plan. I speak in depth about this in my new book – Emotional Advantage: Embracing All You Feelings to Create a Life You Love. (PS - if you live outside of the US - you can still buy the book and get free shipping from www.bookdepository.com!)
The Difference Between Fear, Worry and Anxiety
Do you ever feel like every part of you wants to move forward, break out of a rut. Like you’re tired of the same old, same old. You may even be bored with yourself!! Then there are those feelings of being sorry for yourself – "what’s wrong with me," "everyone else is getting ahead," "it’s embarrassing, what am I doing wrong?" You’re not doing anything wrong – you just need a fresh perspective and to try something new. Today we’re talking about 5 ways to bust out of that rut.
1. What’s the opposite of what you want? Part of it may be that you don’t have a clear direction. First this is not a bad thing. It means that you are percolating - making the space for something new. You may not know what that is yet and that’s OK. So let’s start with how you don’t want to live because that may be easier to access. For example:
Acknowledge and Fight the Stigma – A recent NPR interview with Author and Professor Dr. Anthony Rostain discusses the burgeoning mental health epidemic on college campuses. A record number of students are feeling anxious and find it difficult to get help even though they know it is available. In some cases students might even be adamantly against it. Why? Well the reasons vary but one stands out - denial or procrastination. Only 1 in 4 students get the counseling.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and we need to shine a light. We live in an anxious world, and it's becoming increasingly so. Economic insecurities, tragedies (personal or constant bombardment by the news), and general feeling of lack of control over the future. Here are some ways to help.
Normal Worry vs Anxiety
Maybe you are feeling insecure about finances, an unstable relationship, the political landscape, climate change, or...
Let’s understand what anger is...
Anger is part of our emotional vocabulary. Maybe you’ve felt anger towards yourself, a family member, colleague, partner, the dog, traffic, the state of the world (who hasn't....). There are many degrees of anger ranging from frustration to white hot rage.
Anger is a signal that something is not right - maybe a boundary has been violated, maybe you feel you are being prevented from getting something you really want; perhaps you have been hurt so much that you cannot take it anymore, maybe you feel appalled or helpless about some circumstances or situation right now.
Alternatively, anger is also sometimes a mask for more painful emotions like shame, fear or the ego wanting to protect you and it just feels safer to show up as anger.
The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad.
Like any emotion, it’s conveying a message, telling you that a situation is upsetting, or unjust,...
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