10 Tips for A Happier (Mid)Life

What does happiness mean to you? Happiness is a lot of things to a lot of people, It’s a  perspective, it’s something we can train our brain towards, and it’s also a habit. The happiest or most peaceful people, share some similar qualities. Today, I wanted to give them to you in the form of 10 tips  to embrace midlife and Be Happier.  See which ones you already have, and which you want to dial up:

The happiest people:

Explore their creativity or curiosity: Always start with a beginner’s mindset - be amused instead of judging yourself…Be proud of yourself for trying something new and out of your comfort zone. The most creative artists, musicians, athletes - you name it, all start in the same place - the beginning. Just getting started and trying something new can open something new in yourself too.

Have a vision for themselves: for the next decade and maybe even the next. Ask yourself, who inspired you? Who do you admire? What qualities would you like to emulate? What do you dream of doing, exploring, or feeling? What is one word that says that for you? Freedom, Peace, Adventure, Connection - what is YOUR word?

Work WITH their emotions: (I feel so ____. it could be excited, curious, grateful, vibrant, or… stuck, frustrated, anxious, not enough, tired, or anything in between. Ask, what are my emotions trying to tell me? Be grateful they came up. Don’t suppress – that makes it worse - feelings can fester instead of coming up to be transformed.

Are open to love: of yourself first, with a kindness that you would easily give to a best friend - do that for yourself. Then you can be more open others. See this time as an opening to not only curate friendships, but to work through any residual triggers so you can deepen the relationships that are most important to you. Open to meeting new people. Good! Trying new things introduces you to new people too.

Don’t Need to Fix Other People: Release yourself from trying to fix other people’s lives – they don’t like it, and it probably stresses you out. Instead say the magic phrase, “I know you’ll figure it out – trust yourself.” (I do this with my adult children)

Respect themselves and others: Last time we talked about boundaries, and how we all need some. Same with our grown kids. Respect their boundaries, don’t try to cajole or influence them to your point of view. Sometimes the best support is asking “How can I support you?” or just saying “I trust you’ll figure it out.” It’s their life.

Move their bodies and ditch the perfectionism. Working with weights – increases a person’s confidence, especially for women. This is important - there’s no such thing as perfection. Let go of the shame of not having the “perfect” body. Be an example of self-acceptance for yourself and for the younger humans in your life,

Are OK to get help when needed – in learning a new skill, finding a new doctor, dealing with feelings. Asking is not being needy – it’s proactive and deserves respect. 

Plan for peace of mind in the next decade and the next. Doctors you like, declutter, make a will , get a financial planner– all of these will give you peace of mind.

Find time to play, sing, dance around, laugh, tap into their silliness and their resiliency. Even in the most challenging of times, we can find rays of wry amusement and light. Keep your sense of humor and find what gives you joy, what nurtures your soul.  You have a say in this - you have agency in your life. It’s time to claim it!